“Write something.” He said, “Write me a story.”
So I opened up my new notebook with the white feather taped on the inside- and just basked in the beauty of the blank pages. I could feel the story radiating out to me; characters and images whirring through my mind all at once, like the tiny wheels of a timepiece- interlocking, lacing, spinning….. but, slowly now. Slower…. I want to relish this newness. These blank pages, oozing with temptation, warming my bare skin…. for after all that has happened in the last four weeks, my only priority today was to remain naked.
Christmas had come and gone, leaving me feeling tattered and worn. My short-lived love affair with a L.A. hip hop playboy now over, I stopped to lick my wounds, in a blessedly empty house. Alone, at last….. but, the phone kept ringing. Morning and night, I tossed in bed, wondering why. It was the Mad Scientist’s call I returned first, sometime around noon. Standing in the kitchen wearing only black underwear, I hedonistically ate pecan pie right out of the tin without cutting a neat slice to put on a plate. It was just me standing half naked, eating pie for breakfast in the kitchen, sometime in the afternoon, and I didn’t give a damn about much else at the moment.
His voice was always so reassuring, so intelligent, masculine and with the faintest of Eastern European accents, heard in certain words. We talked always of art and being creative and he enjoyed teasing me, playfully. He was smart and in no hurry. I could tell by the look of his blue eyes… which always seemed so dark….. and the smirk in his smile, that he held a vast store of sexuality. He was tall, 6′3 and well-built, certainly a strong man…. and his face…. very handsome, European, respectable, and perfectly proportioned with striking features. He truly was a Mad Scientist- with the hair of a California Einstein framing his mysterious eyes, giving him a kind of wildness. And he was older than me by more than a few years which, I liked. It was new and I was eager to learn from him. “Drink absinthe with me,” he said.
It was at the cafe’ on Sunset Blvd. where we first met a month ago, that I stopped the car. He lived around the block so I took the opportunity to freshen up before heading over to his place. He worked in the movies, wrote screenplays for television, and to me- was a photographer. I was his model. We planned to do a shoot together but, found each other so intriguing, the photoshoot took a back seat to our friendly conversations over the weeks. He was so full of knowledge and creativity, I was drinking it up, thirsty for the wisdom and experience of a successful man in the creative heart of Hollywood. His images were pure genius and I longed to talk to him at length about his process of writing screenplays.
As far as what he wanted from me, was yet to be determined. What was I? Somewhat of a hot mess, to be sure…… wild, flighty, high strung, wide-eyed and long-legged…. I suppose, I hoped, maybe he liked my poetry. I had emotionally exhausted myself screaming, throwing tantrums, sinking into depressions, and drinking a case of wine over the last week, to take the edge off…… I felt like a broken rail, ready to fall into the hands of someone, much stronger than me. I wafted, a filament of blonde light, a wisp of a person, out of the cafe’, around the block- to fall into the dark eyes of the Scientist, and all they held for me.
The glowing yellow eyes of his midnight black German Shepherd, Kazan, met me at the door. Martin was wearing a smile, jeans, and a white cotton, button down shirt, which filled with his broad shoulders and defined chest and solid arms. He looked very comfortable and chic, as usual and greeted me with a kiss on the cheek, as I fell against him with a hug. It already felt like such a relief to be in his presence. He was a man who had everything and all he wanted from me, was to be there with him.
I took off my gold flats by the door and stepped silently in black stockinged feet, behind him to the center of the living room. Kazan was on my heels and because I was wearing a short black chiffon dress, we made a pretty picture, the dog and I, sitting side by side in our blackness, as I patted his head. Sitting across from us in an armchair, Martin smiled and simply watched for a moment, regarding us with pleasure. “Would you like to smoke some herb with me?” His smile growing wider and more mischievous.
“Why yes, I would love to!” I sparkled at the thought. And deep inside, I knew the moments ahead would lead to the beginning of an adventure, which I did not have much control or foresight on. Somehow, I knew he did. But, I was ready to be in his world and under his control for a few hours…. I was tired of being on a rollercoaster, feeling strung out with no answers and no one to talk to.
He rolled a huge joint from his chair and I continued to pet his giant black shepherd. German Shepherd’s have always bitten me for some reason, a phenomenon I attribute to a past life as a Polish Jewish woman taken captive in one of Hitler’s concentration camps. I came to this conclusion after I was hypnotized for the first and only time in my life, this and two other past lives had surfaced. I had gone to the hypnotist to ask if I had any past life lessons that were influencing my current life. Oddly enough, these three past lives, when put together, held meaning to my current life path and learning….. having to do with love, excess, denial, and balance. And coincidentally, Martin is originally from Poland and his dog from Eastern Germany, directly from a long line of purebred German Shepherds trained in the same manner as they were in Hitler’s day. None of this was lost on me, when I found out. I’ve learned, nothing is ever random. No matter how random it seems to be.
He licked the joint slowly, looking over at me with his intense, mysterious eyes. “So tell me Green Fairy, what do you feel like doing tonight? Do you want to play with some cameras? Eat some dinner? Watch me do some video editing on my new pilot? Or? We can do anything you want.” He lit the joint and through the cloud of rolling marijuana smoke, passed it to me, ablaze. I could feel my palms get damp with excitement.
We can do anything you want- are six words I absolutely love hearing. They are like the lusty blank pages of a new notebook, new white sheets on a freshly made 5-star hotel bed, and an open door to the vast rooms of the imagination I carry inside but, rarely get to share, physically with anyone. And these words combined with cannabis? It’s like a gateway to a whole new reality, entered in the blink of an eye. But, he knew this. He knows this. And while he is cool about it, he can’t wait to see what I am going to do. I inhaled slowly and deeply, the lights of my mind growing brighter, rising like psychotropic fireflies, while my body transformed from a broken, scared little girl to a goddess. Sultry, powerful, and magnificent…. it felt good to be back. The shackles of discord and upset, fell away like papery snake skin, turning to dust in an instant, and the magic of my mind and body returned, more familiar to me than anything else. The cannabis was a side door back to the world of truth, where the inside is more real than the outside. A world in which fantasy is tangible and anything not made of light and love and imagination, does not exist.
I stood up and spun on my toes in a quick pirouette, my black skirt billowing out around me like a bell, and hopped over to return the joint to his fingertips. “Thank-you for having me. Let’s play with your cameras and drink some absinthe!” He lightly clasped the outside of my two outstretched fingers with his, running the fine lengths of my fingers to their tips, taking away the smoldering bud and placing it to his lips he merely said, “As you wish.” And smiled through a haze of fragrant smoke. I spun around again, slipping and sliding like a figure skater in my stocking feet over the smooth floor, which caused Kazan to jump up in excitement and start barking and cavorting around me. It felt good not have a care in the world. Not for schedules, not for lack of time, not for anything. I just had to be here, and everything else was cake.
Martin rose from his chair to deliver the joint back to me and made his way to the absinthe fountain he had on his kitchen island, two glasses and two spoons with cubes of sugar already laid out on the marble countertop. Votive candles flickered in the corner, giving the air a faintly sweet, spicy smell. I took another long drag and spun around, dancing with the dog, and watched as the absinthe poured over the sugar cubes resting on the flat, silver spoon into the first glass. Mesmerized, I took long silky, slippery steps like a skater until I was standing to the side but, slightly behind him, my chin tucked just behind his left shoulder, touching it like a whisper. I could feel my heart beginning to race as I watched the sugar cube dissolve. He repeated the process with the second glass and neither of us spoke, watching the process unfold, so entrancing was the pale green liquor in the elegant pair of absinthe glasses.
He turned with both glasses in hand and handed me one. “To making magic with the Green Fairy.” The cold herbal liquor slid down like green fire. Anise, wormwood, and thujone flanked the alcohol with their combined otherwordly properties. I felt my world tilt slightly, “To the Mad Scientist and his art. Let the night be ceaseless with inspiration.” And without thinking, I slipped my dress over my head and quickly kissed him on the lips, tip-toeing in my black tights. His hands found my ass and hips and slender waist, smoothing over my long curvy body like an hourglass. But, after a moment I pulled back with a gleam in my eye and took another sip. “You should get your camera.” And danced away into another room to scout out some props to use, as he stood in happy shock, watching.
I was soaring. I felt larger than life itself. My spirit was reunited with my body for the first time in weeks, bursting at the seams, until it filled the rest of the room with a huge glowing omniscient presence, watching all. I found a rack of costumes and props from one of his television shows against the wall of his studio office. I put on an elaborate Venetian half mask with large red and black feathers in its headdress. I found long black satin ribbons and a black silk ruffled collar and draped all around my neck, moving onto bright jewels for my fingers and bracelets of diamonds for my wrists. The black shepherd watched patiently as I dabbed rouge on my lips and cheeks, although not much, because I was already flushed from excitement and absinthe.
I went back into the living room and found that he had placed several candelabras with long white tapers all over the floor, all other lights extinguished. He was fumbling with his camera but, stopped as I approached. The energy in the air crackled with vivid, unharnessed sexuality, exotic beauty, and art being born. I moved without a noise, slowly and deliberately until I was in the center of the candelabras, facing him, bare-breasted and looking like a kind of Venetian courtesan, glittering in the candlelight. He found a length of ribbon which streamed haphazardly down my body, and ran its length between his ring and pinkie fingers…. not touching me…. all the while staring into my eyes through the mask. He could tell I wasn’t the same person who had shown up at his door two hours ago. I was someone, something, else. I could feel the heat radiating through his thin shirt and the ferocious self-control with which he restrained his urge to immediately take me on the floor showed in his stern expression and tight jaw. I laughed and relished my power, feeling my affection for him grow, so great was my admiration for his respect and patience, allowing me to play. I jingled my diamond bracelets and shook my feathered mask encrusted with gems and we began. His camera shutter clicking, as I moved like a ballerina in the candlelight. His soft exclamations and my glee filled laughter played against the acoustic Flamenco music coming from the stereo, filling the room with audible revelry.
After about an hour, I grew weary and wanted a rest. I threw a soft blue blanket around my shoulders and removed the mask and bangles and curled up into a ball on the couch. He sat next to me, bringing a glass bong packed with ice, and we did a few bong hits while discussing how the photos will be edited along with further ideas for our photographic escapade. I found myself slipping into a quiet hush of consciousness, resting my head on his leg, his fingers playing lightly with my hair, stroking my face. His voice started to sound far away, and I fell into it, letting it wrap itself around me, making me feel so secure. I was safe and he was strong, my new guardian in the unspoken pact that for tonight, at least, I was protected from the outside world and all its demons. Of course, with all agreements, both parties must compromise…..
The long satin ribbons still trailed from the ruffled collar around my neck. I felt him twirling the ends of them with his fingers, contemplating, as I dozed. I felt the ribbons being wrapped around my wrists so that they were joined and with a slight tug and hand under my bum, I was in his lap, out of the blanket, and stretched over his thighs like a whip. My breasts arched towards him, as I curved over his athletic legs. He held my wrists wrapped with the ribbons in one hand and began gently caressing me with the other. “Hello again, Green Fairy. Did you have a nice nap? I didn’t want you to get too far away from me, so I had to wake you up. Was that naughty?” He cupped my breast, squeezing and leaned over to put his mouth over my nipple. He pulled the ribbons tighter until my arms were far above my head and I let go a sigh and then a gasp as his other hand went beneath my tights. Wide awake, my heart racing, I had no words. No longer a huge omniscient spirit, I was fully in my body again, becoming primal. I was a feminine body with large breasts, round hips and long delicate limbs, covered in strong lines of muscle and soft flesh. I was a woman. So deliciously feminine and so completely in the control of this much more powerful creature, this man, who could do absolutely anything he wanted with me. It felt divine.
I knew that my words were not what he wanted to hear in response to his question. His fingers moved me gently until I became soaking wet. His mouth devoured my mouth, switching to tease my nipples with his mouth while caressing me with his hands. He moved to peel off my tights and quickly removed his belt, shirt and pants but, before he could lay on top of me, I stopped him with my hand. Leaning forward on my knees, I kissed his throbbing erection, gripping its base firmly. My tongue slid up its impressive length until I reached the tip and covered it with my mouth. My tongue moving inside, stimulating him, tantalizing him, and moving him- up and down, slowly, until sweat was running down his body and he could take no more. I braced myself for the storm and prayed that he would be gentle but, it was not so. His passion was in a frenzy, all self-control gone and he lay on me, rubbing his erection against my wetness, inspiring my lust and kissing my mouth with great authority until I lost my breath. He moved against me with his weight, harder and faster until I began to moan and cry out. Upon the sound, he draped one of my legs over his arm and entered me.
I was overcome with his size and squeezed hard to keep him from entering me too deeply, too quickly. He let out a great bellow of pleasure at this and then it was as all the greatest acts of passion are; violent, sensual, physical, ethereal, and sweaty. We moved into one position after another, his power and lust to my tenderness and fire, my soft to his hard, his giving to my taking, until we both shook with an ecstasy near to tears. His member fully inside of me, I rode him as he held onto my hips, gripping me, rocking me back and forth, beads of sweat falling from my bouncing breasts and shaking hair. He growled lowly, “I want you to cum for me. Tell me how much you want it.” And to prove he was serious, he lifted me off of him, holding me above his cock.
“I want you to make me cum. I want you to keep fucking me, please. I want you inside of me. Please, please fuck me.” And with that, he dropped me down hard onto his erection and moved above me so that I was on my back. His hands held my legs open and he moved with great force until I felt myself start to leave my body a little. I felt light as air, except his great heat and movement was undeniable. And the more I focused on his rhythm, I squeezed to contain him from tearing me apart, though he became more ferocious for it- and then at last- a great white light exploded inside of me, bursting forth like a star, and I screamed- with pleasure. My body and mind flooded with gold and white light and my body became a living vessel for Heaven itself. Energy poured out of my hands and feet and eyes like gold sunlight and I became a blessing, incarnate. The great spirit that I am was released and magnified by his sex and I lay beneath him, saturated in divinity. He collapsed, satisfied and exhausted, on top of me, while I glowed like the sun, the essence of Divine Love pouring through every pore of my body, mingling with our human sweat. I stroked his sweaty body as he lay heaving, catching his breath, covering me with his weight. To me, our bodies looked to be glowing with heavenly white light- for we had gone to a place between Heaven and Earth. I stroked him lovingly, covering his shoulders with tiny kisses, feeling my womanly awareness returning to me as I felt myself beginning to throb between the legs.
That night, the Mad Scientist dreamed of impossibly beautiful things, transported to his mind on the waves of our sex and his visions would outlive the ages, having met their manifestation through his gifted hands. And the Green Fairy did not sleep or dream, but, all night…. thanked him silently, for reminding her that she is a vessel of Heaven and a portal to the otherside and must never hide away her feminine body and spirit until its power is forgotten, even to herself, again. For in love, sex, man and woman… all things must be made equal and become balanced. And while it may take lifetimes to learn, all things return to one.
-j.fieldz
